Forgiveness and Forgiving are Absolutely Required |
Created Date: 19-Dec-2023 |
Death-Bed Confession, How to Understand and Respond |
Last updated: 8-Jan-2024 |
Simon Wiesenthal's Sunflower Narrative Example | |
A A A help |
Many Christians will possibly encounter a time in their life that they will be asked to
It is important to have knowledge beforehand to handle the event as God would have you to represent God. This is vitally important before someone enters eternity which may have the person not knowing Jesus Christ as their Savior.
All of us that are Christians should desire to go in front of Jesus Christ at the Judgment Seat of Christ with the knowledge that we have confessed all of our sins and have tried to make restitution when applicable. The Judgment Seat of Christ is a place where positive accolades are honored and rewarded, where we also want to be invited to be at the Wedding Supper of the Lamb Event.
Forgiving others and receiving forgiveness is a God honoring emulation of
what Jesus Christ requires for all
of us that have accepted Jesus
Christ as our Savior. Jesus Christ gave us the
well-known "Our Father" prayer, Matthew 5:9-13, which contains "forgive
us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into
temptation, but deliver us from evil".
Unfortunately, it is possible to forgive while still having thoughts of revenge against people. Understanding that comes with maturity in our Christian life is knowing that ALL pain and suffering in life are managed by God to ultimately have the exact opposite affect intended by evil actions against us. Victims of unjustified suffering will cause blessings from God for the victims even when is a victim is murdered with rewards on Earth and rewards in Heaven. The paradox for all of us, as explained in numerous scriptures, is God will reward those who suffer so that the recipient of suffering is better off by receiving suffering. All sinful actions by people against us, that are done by evil people and even other Christians, will eventually result in the exact opposite for the righteous Christian. Knowing Jesus Christ is the righteous perfect Judge, we reap what we sow, and God is not mocked (Galatians 6:7) should absolutely help us to forgive knowing that God will handle restitution and compensation for the victims and the perpetrators. No human being is capable of setting a standard limit of any kind on what sin is not forgiveable because of Jesus Christ paying for the sins of entire world. Yes, it is reasonable to think that there are specific people who doing evil their whole life, that we can think they won't be with God in Eternity, but it still not our decision where we can 100% trust that God will make sure restitution is handled for victims and perpretators. |
Forgiveness has many points to understand for the Christian regarding giving forgiveness to someone:
James 5:16 | Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective |
Confession sometimes is not required and not an option.
This is an excerpt from the topic on Revenge:
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There are times before death that a person may write a letter or speak about forgiving people and wished they had said that they love someone more often. This type of occurrence is not categorized as a Death-Bed Confession.
There are many scriptures, such as James 5:16, that state that the Christian is to confess sins to one-another to be healed. Biblical Scholars would state that this is not a Death-Bed Confession example, but this author would state that the implication can also imply the importance of Christians helping someone before their death to make sure they have Salvation and to give them peace in their passing from life into eternity.
James 5:16 | Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective |
1 John 1:8-10 | 8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he (God) is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him (God) a liar, and his (God) word is not in us. |
There are scriptures that inform us that someone can ask Jesus Christ to be their Savior moments before death so that they can be with God in Eternity. The best example is the Thief on the Cross who asked Jesus Christ to be his Savior, by requesting Jesus Christ to remember him, which Jesus Christ replied "Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise."
Luke 23: 39-43 | 39 One of the criminals who were hanged there was hurling abuse at Him, saying, "Are You not the Christ? Save Yourself and us!" 40 But the other answered, and rebuking him said, "Do you not even fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? 41 "And we indeed are suffering justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong." 42 And he was saying, "Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom!" 43 And He said to him, "Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise." |
Before continuing reading this topic on a Death-Bed Confession, the topic on "7 multiplied by 70" is a good prerequisite for the scriptures reference on Jesus Christ speaking in to the Apostle Peter about a limit to forgiving someone. There is more to the implied answer Jesus Christ gives on:
Matthew 18:21-22 | 21 Then Peter came and said to Him, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times? 22 Jesus said to him, I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. |
The following is an excerpt from the "7
multiplied by 70" topic: The entirety of scriptures inform us of the Glory of God and the wonderful good news of God's plan to enable us to spend Eternity with Him. The scriptures, such as Matthew 5:18, are perfect and there are no mistakes where this gives us comfort, hope and Faith. The Parable of the King forgiving His slave the debt that was beyond the ability to be repaid that Jesus Christ speaks about in Matthew 18:15-35, informs us there is no limit to forgiveness to enable us to enter Eternity with God. The statement of "seventy times seven" lets us know that there are limitations to Grace and Mercy in our lives to stop sinful actions before negative consequences will occur. Seventy times seven is four hundred and ninety (490), and 490 is not meant to be a marker to let a Christian continuing in sinful actions, where the Christian might incorrectly think there will be no negative consequences if stopped at the 489th occurrence. Sowing and Reaping, when understanding the scriptures, let us know that consequence can be done by a single action as was the case of the most well-known single sinful action of Adam and Eve with the Forbidden Fruit. There is no contradiction of forgiveness to enter Eternity with God and receiving punitive consequences in our Earthly lives. The 490-year patterns in the Old Testament is there for at least these reasons:
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Perhaps the most extreme example of someone asking for forgiveness, that is written and is an actual event in history, is by Holocaust survivor Simon Wiesenthal. In Simon Wiesenthal's book, "The Sunflower (book)", there is a mortally wounded Nazi soldier, Karl Seidl, who asks Simon Wiesenthal for forgiveness of murdering 300 Jewish men, women and children a year before. Note that the Nazi Karl may have asked others, that were Jewish for forgiveness, but that is unknown.
The synopsis summary article in Wikipedia, and other sources about the book for those who haven't read the book, has Simon Wiesenthal in a predicament when hearing the Death-Bed Confession of Karl Seidi. A quick reading of the summary has the reader believing that Simon Wiesenthal is not forgiving, but there is a more complex problem.
The forgiveness asked by Karl Seidi implied that the Death-Bed Confession was to partially or fully exonerate the murder as Karl Seidl as seeking Simon Wiesenthal to be a representative of all Jewish people murdered. In the book, Karl Seidi, also explains to Simon Wiesenthal how his life took the direction that lead him to murder because of being in the Hitler Youth and then in the German Nazi Military Group known as the SS. The SS had two groups of soldiers that were responsible for policing Hitler's edicts and the racial ethnicity cleansing in all conquered areas.
Simon Wiesenthal does not speak any words of forgiveness to Karl Seidl. The following points should be understood from the narrative:
It is this author's belief that if I were plunged into the Holocaust, saw and experienced the horrors, then I would have not known what to speak in the confession of Karl Seidl, just like Simon Wiesenthal was unable to speak. I would have been flooded with emotions of anger, belief of Karl being a hypocrite, where he can't make restitution, and most likely would have had to fight the initial desire to hurt Karl until I saw Karl's genuine desire for forgiveness.
This author believes Simon Wiesenthal was righteous in actions, where I have the theory that after time to reflect on not speaking to Karl Seidl, I believe Simon Wiesenthal desired greatly to go back in time to the event to say something to Karl Seidl. My belief is based on the evidence by Simon asking the question in his book on what would we do. I would guess that Simon Wiesenthal would have liked to state something like the following:
While Simon still holding Karl's hand in compassion: "I forgive you Karl Seidl, but I cannot speak in behalf of the others that are your victims as forgiving you. Your forgiveness is required from God first and then you should be asking your victims. You should understand that with God, there is perfect justice, no evil thoughts are in Heaven and God gives restitution to all victims that are with God. I will not hold in my memory the anger against you in my life as that is a burden that gives power to the evil you have done, and you are about to die so I no longer need to think of you. After the war, you should know that I am destined to be part of worthy endeavor to heal Jewish people that remain alive, restore Jewish lives if possible and to hunt down Nazis for justice to be done."
If Simon had the opportunity to have done the theorized statement, then this would have been a greater witness to Karl. It appears that Karl was sincere and if Karl did not have Salvation then it might have led to Karl asking God, through Jesus Christ, for Salvation as Karl had a background with a mother who was professing to be a Christian (Catholic).
Regardless of the
well-known and also potentially famous people who answered Simon Wiesenthal's
question on forgiving or not forgiving, that are listed in the chart below, the
Scriptures of both the Old and New Testament emphatically teach us to not put
ourselves in the place of God regarding Judgment for
someone in Eternity. Jesus Christ is the Messiah that died for the sins of the entire world
and
the righteous Judge of everyone which is for God's
Glory alone.
We do not have to wrestle with deciding if it is fair and righteous for Karl Seidl, and even Adolf Hitler, to be in Eternity with God as that is not our responsibility. Regarding the list of answers below to Simon Wiesenthal's question:
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Summary of the Wikipedia answers to Simon Wiesenthal's question based on religion:
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Details from Wikipedia:
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This author has a good friend, David, who is a son of two Concentration Camp survivors. David's parents met in New York city after WWII and David was born in 1954. I heard stories from David that his parents had told him about their experiences in the Concentration Camps. The impression that I got from David, who had a hard time telling me without being angry, was his parents had to forgive to be able to let it go.
A great and very heart hurting article is "Why Germany Needs to Put a 94-Year Old Nazi on Trial" that discusses more of the Simon Wiesenthal's Sunflower Book. This article is a must read.
It must be also stated that not all Germans were following the Nazis
doctrine and beliefs before and during the time that Adolf Hitler was in
power. There is the many accounts of German families hiding Jewish
families in their basements, and many others such as Germany Army
Officer
Karl
Plagge who saved many Jewish families through subterfuge of labor
requirements against Nazi SS orders to kill Jewish people in the Nazi
created Jewish Ghettos. A book on Karl Plagge is named "Major
Plagge: The Nazi Who Saved Jews" that also recognizes there were
many German Soldiers that knew exactly that Karl Plagge was rescuing
Jews and these soldiers did NOT turn Karl Plagge into the SS, which
shows they agreed with the purpose of saving Jewish lives. See this link also for more amazing information on people who risked their own lives to save Jews: "Righteous Among the Nations - Wikipedia" that lists people from multiple countries. |
We will not be able to know without a doubt if a person making a Death-Bed Confession has Salvation or seeking Salvation. It is not our responsibility to judge someone making a Death-Bed Confession but speak to the person on what God would have us to do that brings God into focus and to God's Glory that will lead to Salvation. As an example, there are many countries that offer a condemned prisoner, who could have done very heinous crimes, facing execution to have a visit from a person in the Clergy.
We absolutely must forgive from our standpoint and also reflect Jesus Christ as having died for everyone's sins that only requires a person to accept Jesus Christ as their Savior to enter into Eternity with God. Yes, rewards in Heaven are earned, but entrance into Heaven is recognizing Jesus Christ as a person's personal Savior.
The following in an excerpt from the
Thief on the Cross topic: As a beautiful example of rewards accumulating over time after a person's death, is the Thief on the Cross who asked Jesus Christ on the Cross to remember him when Jesus Christ comes into His Kingdom. Jesus Christ told the thief that on that very day that the thief would be with Him in Paradise. Ever since that event, there have been people who were near death or even living debaucheries lives who remember the story of the thief where they also gave their life to Jesus Christ unto their Salvation. The thief, since that time on the cross has been earning future payments of rewards because of the action, deed and words spoken to our Savior Jesus Christ. The final tally of those who had part of their inspiration because of the thief will not be known until the time of the end. Of course we all know that it is impossible for all of us to accept Jesus Christ if God did not initiate the process with us.
* As a sub-note, the Thief did not have time to be water baptized or speak-in-tongues to be Saved, which proves the incorrect assertion by some uninformed Christians who have been incorrectly stating that water baptisms or speaking in tongues is required for Salvation. Neither being water baptized or speak-in-tongues is required for Salvation There are many of us who in a simple action, that gave a testimony of Jesus Christ, may have been the witness, through the Holy Spirit, that gave someone the thought to become a Christian. As an analogy in the theoretical concept called the "Butterfly Effect", popularized in many books and movies, where a small incident can make a larger difference. We all never know if our Christian actions and words will be the start or the only Scripture that someone may hear or see which leads them to Salvation. The Thief on the Cross, was not thinking about any destiny other than the impending death and could not have known the far-reaching implications of his actions being a testimony until the end of times. |
Judas Iscariot is a truly evil person who confessed that he had "betrayed innocent blood". Judas Iscariot spent three years with Jesus Christ and rejected Jesus Christ, God, after all of that time speaking person-to-person with God Incarnate. This is similar to the actions of Lucifer, which is how in John 17:12, the description of Judas Iscariot is called "doomed to destruction".
John 17:12 | While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. |
It is possible that some people may not have recognized that Judas Iscariot made a Death-Bed Confession before committing suicide. It this author's theory that Judas Iscariot was trying to:
by the act of suicide. This is similar to King Saul who rejected God's Word with idolatry, and took his on life through suicide at the end of a battle as read in 1 Samuel 31. Idolatry is one of the four greatest sins.
Note that suicide, which is still murder, is NOT a sin that causes rejection from God and will NOT cause loss of Salvation. Suicide was a result in the life of the choices made by the evil Judas Iscariot and the God rejected King Saul.
1 Samuel 15:23 | For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has rejected you as king. |
1 Samuel 31:4-6 | 4 Then Saul said to the one who carried his battle-clothes, Take your sword and cut through me with it. Or these men who have not gone through our religious act will come and kill me with the sword and make fun of me. But the one who carried his battle-clothes would not do it, for he was filled with fear. So Saul took his sword and fell on it. 5 When the one who carried his battle-clothes saw that Saul was dead, he fell on his sword also, and died with him. 6 So Saul, his three sons, the one who carried his battle-clothes, and all his men, died that day together. |
We know from the scriptures that
John 6:66-71 | 66 Upon this many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him. 67 Jesus said therefore unto the twelve, Would ye also go away? 68 Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life. 69 And we have believed and know that thou art the Holy One of God. 70 Jesus answered them, Did not I choose you the twelve, and one of you is a devil? 71 Now he spake of Judas the son of Simon Iscariot, for he it was that should betray him, being one of the twelve. |
Luke 22:1-6 | 1 Now the Festival of Unleavened Bread, called the Passover, was approaching, 2 and the chief priests and the teachers of the law were looking for some way to get rid of Jesus, for they were afraid of the people. 3 Then Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the Twelve. 4 And Judas went to the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus. 5 They were delighted and agreed to give him money. 6 He consented, and watched for an opportunity to hand Jesus over to them when no crowd was present. |
Matthew 27:3-4 | 3 Then when Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that He had been condemned, he felt remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, 4 saying, "I have sinned by betraying innocent blood." But they said, "What is that to us? See to that yourself!" |
Matthew 27:5 (part 1) | And he threw the pieces of silver into the temple sanctuary and departed; |
Matthew 27:5 (part 2) | and he went away and hanged himself. |
Matthew 26:24 | The Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born. |
John 17:12 | While I was with them, I kept them in your name, which you have given me. I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled |
All of us will have tribulations and suffering in our lives that depending on how we handle them will reap great rewards for ourselves and for God's Glory. God will lead us through all of them which can even involve the loss of life. At 63 years of age, observational evidence reinforces Psalm 34:19, and other scriptures, that if a Christian is not experiencing tribulations and suffering, then the person is not living for God as the Satanic Forces in this world do not see the person as a Godly threat to them. There will also be events in all of our lives that are beyond coincidence of happening where God arranges the event for a benefit for our future.
Psalm 34:19 | Many are the afflictions of the righteous; But Jehovah delivereth him out of them all. |
Romans 8:28 | "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." |
Philippians 1:21 | For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. |
These three events from this author's life reflect that this author is genuine about forgiving always. The third event exposes something very embarrassing which God was always there for me, my children and the people who loved me. It should be noted that when reading about the three events, that this author had successfully put all of this almost out of my memory because of how God had blessed me.
When recalling and writing the third event's details, it brought back some of the pain and anger that I had almost forgotten, along with recalling that I could not understanding how two people could be so evil. I realized that with the analysis of Simon Wiesenthal, and the need to write this topic, was for other's benefit. I am glad to finish this topic and move to other topics with the prayer that this topic will help others. I was able to let go of the pain and anger based on the details outlined in Divorce Recovery topic.
God is there for all of us. When we read topics from Christian sources about handling horrible situations, it is important that the person writing on a subject has some experience in suffering to impart for others that shows God is there for all of us.
The details of the examples that this author experienced, hopefully will help others with worse suffering to know that they must forgive, will be blessed for doing so, and will be acting as God would have us for God's Glory. We all are required by the Third Commandment to be Ambassadors for Jesus Christ. This author's three examples, in my life, can be related in a smaller way to Simon Wiesenthal's handling of the German Nazi Karl Seidl confession and giving forgiveness.
It is important for the readers to know, before reading the examples listed next, that while I have a bachelor's degree from the University of Houston, I almost completed three other degrees simultaneously. Additionally, I am a life-time runner who does weightlifting three days a week, where my body age index is 10 years younger than my actual age. I have taken recreational trips all over the world to places like China and Great Wall, Russia, Middle East, Europe, South America and all-over United States. All of this is to reflect that I am NOT a weak-minded individual, but someone who is very goal oriented and adventurous. I have great friends who would tell you that I am one of the nicest and charitable people you could ever meet who has no arrogance, where women have said that I am very attractive. I mention these aspects about myself as they apply for the reader to know when reading further in this topic.
First Example in my lifeI recall in my mid-twenty years of age, being confronted by a person, Allen, who was a bully towards me in High School when I was 14 years old. It was truly a God ordained moment as I was with a good friend Randy and was just telling Randy a long story of Allen being a bully and how I would severely hurt Allen if I saw him again.
Randy and I were at a fast-food restaurant, when I was telling Randy about Allen and all of a sudden Allen, who I have not seen in ten years, approached me in the kindest of ways to greet me like an old friend. I was initially completely speechless to Allen as I recall as if it were yesterday. The feeling of anger left me when Allen was kind to me, while the feeling of mistrust still remained as I looked at Allen. As I listened to Allen saying hello and talking, I also realized that I was now much bigger and stronger than him where I could have easily won a fight against him. Allen said some kind words and extended his hand in friendship as he left the fast-food restaurant. After Allen had left, I looked back at Randy who was laughing and said to me "That's the guy you were talking about correct? What are the odds of that happening?".
My experience with Allen is absolutely not equivalent to Simon Wiesenthal's experience. The commonality was me being speechless, where I believe it is by no accident that God had me experience the bully Allen. This was an ordained encounter ten years later, for something far more significant in the future, third example, to always be prepared for the unexpected and give forgiveness.
Second Example in my life
Early in my marriage, I was called to Jury Duty and was put on a Jury Panel which the Court Officers organize as a jury before a Court Trial starts. As one of the Court Officers was reading off names of people to sit in a specific area at the courthouse, my name was called and then my wife's high school boyfriend was called, and we ended up sitting next to each other to serve on the same Jury. My wife's high school boyfriend had an affair when they dated that understandably caused my future wife a great deal of anguish back in her high school years where it was her first love. At this point I was married for just a few years and my marriage was going great.
While sitting next to the man, I said nothing but wanted to say something judgmental to him but felt God was leading me to not say anything. After the names for the Jury Panel were completed, I got up from my seat and spoke to one of the Court Officers that I could not serve as a Juror on a trial because a man who had abused my wife before I knew her was on it. The Court Officer could not believe the coincidence, and then after 10 minutes of me sitting in her office, the Court Officer excused me from serving as they got a replacement.
This incident taught me that I could forgive, let go of my hostilities and just need to not be around people who have done something evil where I had no way of knowing if they had changed from their old ways along with possibly now having accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior. This man had never apologized or asked for forgiveness according to my wife when she learned of his affair, which is all I knew about him. It is interesting that my wife, having experienced adultery did not learn from the painful experience.
Third Example in my life
After accepting Jesus Christ as my personal Savior in September of 1983, I remained celibate (no dating) for five years until I was 28 years old with my first date on my 28th birthday. During the five years of celibacy, I was working full-time and finishing up my college degree that didn't allow dating with time constraints, but I went to a weekly Bible study on Friday nights at a Church's singles group, where there were several women that pursued me. It was difficult not to want to explore the opportunity, but I knew I didn't have the time or much money.
After I graduated from college, I met and got married where my wife's most recent previous relationship was with a man who was wealthy. This was a different man than my wife's boyfriend in high School who I sat next to in Jury Duty. The two men knew each other but were not friends.
When my future wife broke up with the wealthy man, it appears that he tried to murder her by poisoning her with cyanide which put her into a comma for almost a week on two occasions. It wasn't until her second coma, that police found cyanide was on several plates and a glass in her apartment, where the theory is the man had gained access through a key that he still had to her apartment when she wasn't home. The police could not prove that the man did it, but he was the only one with motive, the ability, and access. After they broke up, this man would sometimes go to her apartment and lock himself in the bathroom and not come out, so my future wife would just leave. This stopped after the poisoning. The cyanide type found is in a form that is used in industrial pipe fabrication, where he would have access to purchase as part of his father's business. I did not find out about this poisoning until after we had been married for six months. That should have been something to tell your future husband.
After several years of marriage this wealthy man started occasionally sending flowers and showing up at my wife's job to say hello by waiting next to her car as she got off work, which my wife told me about after throwing the flowers away and quickly getting into her car. This of course bothered me, but I was never there to intercept him from showing up, and nothing legally that I could do. Also, I never feared the man could somehow get back into my wife's life as I thought how would any woman put herself back into a life of a man who tried to kill her twice, especially a married woman who professed to be a Christian. Unbeknownst to me, my wife eventually did start an affair that the scope of it is so full of unbelievable deviant details that cannot be written.
My wife confessed her affair after many years of adultery, from what appeared to be a great deal of guilt, a desire to break the power from this man over her, and a desire to fix herself with my help as she said also she loves me and wants to fix the marriage. I never heard her say she was afraid of God's Judgment on her, which shocked me. People that know my wife state she developed a psychological condition known as Stockholm Syndrome, and something worse, for the man who tried to kill her twice. Most likely all of us have heard on news stories how some women will cling to people that abused them, where Police will never go alone to a home where domestic abuse is occurring without a secondary police person as wives and girlfriends are historically known to attack a police person who was trying to arrest an abusive man. In more extreme cases there are women who will get married to incarcerated men in prison who were serial killers, and when interviewing these women, it sometimes takes a trained Psychologist to know why the bad marriage decision were being done. My wife was very normal to everyone where hindsight looking back to those days showed she stealthily hid so many things from everyone that proves a high intellect (at that time). God has gifted women and men with different positive abilities, where both men and women have different vulnerabilities that are exploited with our sinful nature and Satanic influences.
This wealthy man was and is also married with a daughter. Since the man having adultery with my wife had his own company, after his father retired, allowed him the ability to leave during the day very easily, and pay for hotels. He purchased the exact same car, in every detail, that my wife drove so that he could enter my neighborhood, park at my home and easily switch drivers when necessary to deceive, and my wife could drive and park at his manufacturing facility after hours along with pulling into garage area where anyone watching would think it was the wealthy man's car. My wife was a realtor which gave her free time during the day, and if she was seen at hotel, then she could state she was meeting a client moving to our city who wants to purchase a house. Their deceptions were brilliantly evil, that no man could have known what was occurring. Regarding the lack of physical intimacy that I experienced, my wife said she was low on estrogen which she also said was making her irritable when she wasn't acting like a loving wife and mother according to her Doctor, which I believed.
When my wife confessed of her affair, we had three children who figured out on their own what their mother was doing, where I was forced to decide with counseling with my amazing father on the best solution. The best choice was to stay in the marriage for my children's wellbeing until my children were older so that they would have stability and my 100% involvement. If I divorced my wife, then the court system in the USA always gives custody of the children to the mother, where I would have had to move out of the house and provide a high financial court ordered child support on a monthly basis. This a very common problem in divorces where fathers are often victims as a wife's moral conduct has zero to do with awarding children custody, only a mother putting children in danger is a consideration for the court system. Note that my father, mother deceased, never treated my wife differently because of what she did and was doing, where my father was amazingly trying to show her that she could stop and change to save herself, the marriage, the children's long-term wellbeing, and damages to all the others which she never did change.
I did lose my temper a few times in the weeks after her confession, but I never was abusive. This choice of staying married, which my wife wanted and I was forced into, looking back over those years, brought many wonderful dividends for me and for my children. Additionally, during those years, my wife became an alcoholic that was so severe that she had to live in medically supervised recovery centers many times where she was absent from the family for weeks and months at a time where I enjoyed her absence. Fortunately when she was back at home, the alcoholism was the type where she would drink and sleep. The kids were never exposed to any dangers or problems, and others could be around including myself if needed.
I never had an affair in retaliation, nor had an affair or cheated on a relationship ever in my entire life, where there were opportunities from single and married women who knew of my situation and wanted me. I knew that God and my children were watching me to be a parent and a man who had Christian and God Fearing standards that live up to commitments that reflect honor even when my wife and their mother does not live up to commitments. I also knew if I even had one single encounter with a woman while still being married, then I was just a bad as all adulterers where I was NOT going to let that haunt me and suffer God's Judgment.
When the time was possible for me and the children to move on in life, I divorced my wife, which was also after suffering all of her relapses back into alcoholism and adultery. I had got to the point where I had zero attraction for her because of what she had done, and had no longer any sympathy because she wasn't changing where I knew when God said it was time to leave the marriage. All the years that I stayed with my adulterous wife, I was always kind to her so that she could get back to living righteously and get past the adultery and alcoholism. When I filed for divorce, my wife went into deep depression and for the period of me waiting for the divorce to be finalized, she tried every thing possible to not have me divorce her.
I will never understand how the adulterous man, with his murder attempts, and my ex-wife could even be physically, intellectually or emotionally attracted to someone who offends God in such a blasphemy way, cheats on their spouses, hurts their children by the cheating, and hurts others that love the victims. I didn't wrestle with finding a solution but believe my ex-wife had a Psychological Disorder that was developed from her choices, and the man is Demonically Possessed that gave him evil gifts to hurt others for his pleasure. I know without any doubt that my presence in the home kept my children safe, loved and their paramount needs for a normal life sustained as I, with the help of my parents and friends, were able to control the home once the affair was exposed. The times my wife was in alcohol recovery hospitals and living centers for recovery, was a gift from God to keep her away from home where she was mandated to sleeping in a single bed, in a shared room with another woman, at the recovery centers.
Mark 4:22 | 21 And he said unto them, Is the lamp brought to be put under the bushel, or under the bed, and not to be put on the stand? 22 For there is nothing hid, save that it should be manifested; neither was anything made secret, but that it should come to light. 23 If any man hath ears to hear, let him hear. |
My ex-wife had plenty of years to fix herself and stop the adultery where if she had done so in the very beginning then I would have stayed married because of my Christian values on forgiving. When she didn't then my father's advice was to give stability for the children, which sustained me because of my great love for my children. In providing stability for my children, this also meant stability for my wife which she took advantage of in the wrong way often. I took my family on numerous awesome vacations and, participated as a coach in my children's sports teams. For myself, I learned how to scuba dive, snow ski, snow bike, ride a motorcycle, travel to faraway countries (my parents took care of the kids while I was on a trip), and so much more during the years before divorcing. I also should mention that I had great Christian friends who helped me also.
After divorcing, my children who were 18 years and older, they continued to live with me in the home where my ex-wife moved into an apartment. I had five long term fun and rewarding relationships where the fifth relationship lead to my current awesome and wonderful marriage. My second wife is extraordinary in so many ways along with being exceptionally beautiful and highly intelligent with two different Masters Degrees in business (MBA) and Engineering. (Note: to help in forgiveness, I used the techniques listed in this topic "Releasing the Past". Note that my ex-wife never once wanted to divorce me, but the laws in the place I live do not force two people to stay married if one files to divorce.)
My children have grown up to be wonderful God fearing and worshipping individuals, who I love dearly. My ex-wife has had many, many horrible and tragic experiences, including two suicide-watch incarcerations, that I believe are derived from her choices and consequences. Additionally, to this day, she fervently wants me back after thirteen years according to my children. While I have completely forgiven my ex-wife, I avoid all contact with her because I don't want to have to deal with her possible flirtation, bizarre comments, and for ex-wife to not try to infiltrate my re-marriage to an awesome woman who I love dearly.
My ex-wife is so different from what she was when I first met her, where when we met she was a good natured and compassionate woman and she is not anymore who has lost so much in every area of her life.
Having divulged this information that could have gone into much more sordid details, I absolutely believe that the adulterous man who did so much evil will eventually try to contact me before his death to try to receive forgiveness. I believe God has exposed me to Simon Wiesenthal's life, along with the two examples of God arranged examples listed , as experience to prepare me, where this is what I will say to the adulterous man in a very soft and carrying voice:
"I forgave you a long time ago, but you primarily need to be asking for forgiveness from God in Jesus Christ's Name if you haven't done so. I released the memory and anger against you in my life so that you had no power over me for the evil you have done. You need to understand that asking for forgiveness, with the magnitude of what you have done, also requires asking for forgiveness from my children, my parents, my friends, and your own family as you have hurt more than just me along with destroying the life of my ex-wife which she shares responsibility.
While I have forgiven you, there is responsibility on your part to make restitution as proof of your genuine desire for forgiveness which God was expecting in your earthly life. I don't think you have been feeling any type of sorrowful accountability until now as you are now facing death. Three things as proof that are expected:
As stated already, I will be speaking in a soft tone and the purpose of my speech will be for him to have more than mental assent of accountability to realize the extreme seriousness that he needs Jesus Christ as his personal Savior. I know that he is not a Christian as he is born and raised Jewish, and I understand, from discussions with my ex-wife, that he believes that God allows everyone to sin since we are sinful creatures.
A Nazis Comparison of the Adulterous Man
In one very short conversation with this man on a "burner phone" that I found hidden that my wife was using after she admitted to adultery, where I called and confronted the man to no avail in stopping him, the adulterous man said to me: "I learned a long time ago not to worry about what other people think and not to worry about anything I've done.", which is unfortunately etched into my memory because of the shock of what he had said. Rhetorically, does this sound similar to what Nazis thought and did even though the Nazis did greater evil? This adulterous man, like a Nazis, had this as his plan:
Notes:
Why Do I trust God?
There are some readers of this topic, who may ask how can this author trust in God where God allowed an evil man to invade my very marriage and have my wife being an accomplice? No one can fully stop evil people from hurting us. My ex-wife became a partner to the evil that started first with harming of herself. Everyone experiences hardships that are caused by the Fall of Adam and Eve that will continue until Jesus Christ sends Lucifer, Fallen Angels, and all human-beings without Salvation to the Lake of Fire. Eternity future, God will rule with Glory for Himself and will change our hearts with new bodies and knowledge that evil will not ever again exist.
Here are some points to consider for God being there for me and will be there for you:
I truly believe, as confirmed by my children, that my ex-wife is absolutely a Christian with Salvation, so I am not worried about her destiny to be in Eternity with God. As already stated, I have forgiven her but just righteously choose to stay out of communication because of her attempts to get me back in the past. If she were to contact me on her death bed, I would speak with her but only then and I would listen to anything she would speak to me where I would not challenge any of her assertions, comments or requests for forgiveness as I would say I forgave you decades ago and glad you will be in Heaven.
This author can say and continue to say is I have incredible blessings, with knowledge gained, from God for going through hardships where I feel a great privilege to give God the Glory and be able to witness to others that are going through similar travails in life. We all will have trials in some shape or form. Every thing done to hurt me has ended up blessing me with gifts from God. I lost many years of having a loving wife, but I gained at least seven fold in others areas that included the privilege of raising my three children and now God giving me a wife that is at least seven times better than my ex-wife in every category. God will give restitution against evil done, especially in adultery.
James 1:2-4 | 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. |
Proverbs 5:1-6 (Woman) |
1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight, 2 that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge. 3 For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; 4 but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. 5 Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. 6 She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it. |
Proverbs 6:26-32 (Man) |
26 For on account of a harlot a man is brought to a piece of bread; And the adulteress hunteth for the precious life. 27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? 28 Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? 29 So is he who sleeps with another man s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. 30 People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. 31 Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house. 32 But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. |
In Eternity, God will remove all evil memories from our minds which is a gift from God, and that removal in our minds is also part of the hopelessness of those in the Lake of Fire that will know that no one in Heaven will remember them, and that adds to person in the Lake of Fire to have zero hope to ever leave the Lake of Fire. Before the starting of Eternity future, we must forgive as God has command us, which still requires justice and restitution when possible for sins that we all do in our life.
Jesus Christ died on the Cross for absolutely every sin that every single human being committed, where absolutely anyone can make a decision to ask and trust in Jesus Christ no matter what sin they have committed to enter into Eternity with God. There is no human being that can claim judgmental rights on Salvation against another human being as that is Jesus Christ's solely earned and God given responsibility at both the Judgment Seat of Christ and the Great White Thrown of Judgment.
Everyone must obtain Salvation through Jesus Christ that requires a relationship through asking for forgiveness and accepting Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. Jesus Christ second mission is linked with the 70th Week of Daniel, Tribulation Period, the Rapture, Armageddon and the Millennial Kingdom.
John 3:16 | For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. |
Matthew 6:14-15 | 14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. |
Proverbs 25:21-23 | 21 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: 22 For thou wilt heap coals of fire upon his head, And Jehovah will reward thee. 23 The north wind bringeth forth rain; So doth a backbiting tongue an angry countenance. |
What to read next?
What is Salvation? Is it possible to lose Salvation? We have eternal life. Evolution is not real. When a Christian suffers is there benefits from it. Rewards in heaven. Do we Tithe? What does the 3rd Commandment tell us? What is Grace and Mercy? Is there an Age of Accountability? Is there a place of unending punishment and exile form God?